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| Trouble w/ MomHow do I tell my mom I am not interested in traveling w/ her and her boyfriend? They treat me like I'm 12. HELLO!! 25!!! It's been a long time since I've been a kid. I'm not interested in being a tag-along on her "dates" with a guy she constantly complains about. They are overprotective and never let me talk to anybody. Really, they aren't that interesting. I've been traveling my whole life with my mom. We find things we enjoy doing together. Seems like when someone else is around, I never have any fun. I don't want to travel with them. Can I bring someone? I'm sure I can't. How about Matt? He could really use a break. I could use a nice trip. Then, at least I'd have someone to wander around with... break the monotony of attempting to talk to these two people that argue constantly. The resort is plenty nice enough... there is always something we could find to do... but the evenings would be much more interesting with someone my own age than with two people who treat me like a child. But she'd never go for it... cuz remember... she treats me like a child. Not that I'm 25, with 2 jobs and my own interests. Aside from "living" with her, I take care of myself. I mean... not that she's ever home. If, by some chance she is, it's when I'm not cuz I'm working or it's the one chance my schedule matches up with Tami's or Erica's.
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| Which Xangan knows you the best? How did your friendship begin?
kcar2021 knows me best on Xanga. Actually... sometimes I think he knows me best period. At least in the past years since my brother and I moved away from each other. How'd we meet? We met on Xanga. Quickly turned in to one of my best friends in the whole world. Lately I feel like I screwed that up... but maybe I didn't. maybe things will go back to normal one of these days.
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| What the hey!I may not have any career goals... but I have set a goal.
I got to ride outside today. The place where I train is setting up for a NIHJA show this weekend. I don't quite have it together enough to take the pony I've been riding over fences outside. I have learned more in the past month that I did in the 12 years riding prior to this. Having Brit and Sarah both as trainers has done wonders to improve my flat work and my posture. Seeing how much I've grown in the past few months, it's a wonder I have any blue ribbons at all. I can't imagine how I ever won anything in the past, riding as sloppy as I had before training at this barn.
On Saturday, they will be running a Hunter/Jumper Derby (I dunno how to add video, but at least I found one on youtube.com)
My goal: To compete in Hunter Derbies.
Of course, this means lots of time practicing. Lots of money, too, so I can have my own horse to train with and show. Guess I'll have to marry someone rich. HAHA!!! Like that will happen. My pattern is drug addicts, guys who don't work, some combination of the two, and soldiers. Don't misunderstand me... there is nothing wrong with a sexy soldier or his salary. (OK WAIT! The government should pay them way more than they make, but that's a different argument.)
Guess I'm shooting high... but what they hey! Never gonna get anywhere in life if I don't challenge myself.
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| Longest Night EverThe last light lingered in the sky, threatening to fade. I flipped on the light before lying down in my bed and opening my book. I retreat into a world far from my own, reading stories of made up lives. It's all so simple when you think about it - life. It's simple enough to be someone's creation written on the pages of time.
A little after ten, I decide to go to sleep. The silence of the empty house echos around me. While I brush my teeth, I contemplate my reasons for being here. I live with my mom so I won't have to live alone, but more often than not, I sleep in an empty house. I hate it. I suppose I'm preparing to be on my own. I wish I had my dog.
I woke up at least every hour, if not more. Not really sure why. I can't remember dreaming - usually I wake up from bad dreams. Maybe it's the lack of silence surrounding the house. Each time I wake up, I am aware of the never ending whir of traffic.
I was already awake when someone lit off fire crackers a little after 3:00 A.M. I thought for sure it must only be midnight, or maybe 1. I was wrong. There is a point when it's not worth trying to sleep anymore. May as well get up and work... there's always lesson planning to get done.
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| Shepard's PieI remember a time when I made an excellent house wife. The laundry was always washed and put away. The kitchen was clean - no dishes in the sink. The dogs were walked - or roller bladed - lets say well-exercised. I could do my shopping on the off hours when it wasn't crowded. I could get fresh veggies and fruit from the market. I had someone to cook dinner for... and likewise, someone to eat whatever it was I decided to bake when I was bored.
Don't get me wrong...
I remember when I was unemployed, worked part time, and was miserably bored. I think I failed to appreciate the little things about that time. There were other extenuating circumstances making that point in life a difficult time for me.
I think I'd really love to work part time retail in a specialty shop (like the one I'm at now) and stay at home with the kids. Especially if I had neighbors like Gina and Shannon, who also stay home with the kids. It would be fun to hang out by the pool in the summer, or take the kids to museums on a group outing. Or maybe I could make extra money painting and writing (although I haven't done much of either lately) while the kids were down for their nap.
I just got back from the grocery store. While I was there, I decided I was craving a Shepard's Pie. So, tonight I am making a pie. I'm gonna use bell peppers and cucumbers instead of my normal, corn, peas, onions, and carrots. More than likely, no one will be here to eat it but me. I don't cook much anymore. It's lonely making a whole meal by yourself, for yourself. There's always so much extra. Sometimes I crave a good meal, though. those are the days I break away from my typical yogurt, Cheerios, fruit, and vegetable menu.
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